After 4 days of set construction and camera rehearsals, we were getting closer to the shoot day. I had been commissioned to direct a television commercial for a leading underarm deodorant client. The basic scenario was: A Tarzan-like character swings through the dense foliage of the African jungle, his cry reverberating across the valleys. He lands on a jungle platform and starts applying a roll-on deodorant, as he strolls casually towards a chimpanzee sitting on a huge branch. The chimp jumps excitedly into his arms and they both swing down to the lower platform, where a beautiful parrot is perched in a tree. The Macaw, obviously impressed by the fragrance, joins Tarzan and the chimp and the three of them swing through the trees, disappearing into the jungle. I would like to make it quite clear I had nothing to do with the concept.

We built a jungle set in Johannesburg, South Africa. The set was constructed in a 900 sq metre studio with three levels of scaffolding, the top level being almost 10 meters above the ground. The pressure was on, so I decided to commission a stills photographer to help me capture the three action sequences and the pack-shot set-up, while I directed the commercial.

Just to give you some of the pre-production insight, my choice of Tarzan was based on original Hollywood characters like Johnny Weissmuller, but unfortunately in the final cast selection I was overruled by the client, who chose an Arnold Schwarzenegger lookalike with an ego larger than his biceps. I must admit, he had an incredibly muscular, well-defined body that suited the character perfectly, except for one thing – he was gay and you could tell it by his walk – anyone who’s seen Priscilla Queen of the Desert would know. Now you have to understand I’m certainly not homophobic, but I found a mincing Tarzan quite bizarre.

I booked two studio cranes, one for my Sony 700 and the other for my stills rig. I’m sure most of you are aware that unless you are shooting moody production stills, movie lighting is not ideal for ‘classic’ advertising stills; it usually requires a re-light. As an example, if I was shooting on 35mm Eastman Colour film in low light conditions, I would need an aperture of around 2.8 on a 50mm lens, 25 frames per second for television introduced a further consideration. Selecting a suitable aperture and speed for the stills was tricky as well, because of the unpredictable movement of Tarzan and his menagerie. The photographs had to be pin sharp for magazine and poster blowups, so I figured with an independent crane, the stills camera would be reasonably steady and accessible to the action as well as not being locked into the radical moves of the movie crane. All round it was going to be a difficult shoot, not only for stills.

Okay, while you’re working out the technicalities, the story gets worse. The reality is that I find myself working with a gay Tarzan, a neurotic chimpanzee who should be on Prozac and a rare Macaw, who is only doing it for the money. I was so pleased we were not shooting sync sound, as on every rehearsal (and there were many), Tarzan’s cry went up a musical pitch every time he swung on the vine. After 25 camera rehearsals, he started sounding more like Celine Dion on crack. The entire setup was not looking conducive to a great shoot - Tarzan was allergic to animals and broke out in a rash, and the chimp took an instant dislike to the parrot and kept attacking it.

It was a 4.00am call on the day of the shoot and as I arrived at the studio, I got a frantic call from my stills guy. It was bad news; his studio in downtown Johannesburg had been burgled during the night and all his camera gear and other equipment had been stolen. He was beside himself losing a couple of Hasselblad and Nikon cameras, as well as studio 4X5’s. I was in trouble - Tarzan was already dressed and made up and we were due to start rolling in an hour. Trying to reach professional photographers at this time of the morning was impossible as most had just got home. Then I suddenly remembered I had my closest buddy in the trunk of my car – my Nikon Cool Pix 5700, which I bought back in 2002.

Don’t fall about laughing, I cannot tell you how many times this camera has bailed me out of trouble – simply by taking great pictures. It is a 5.0 Mega Pixel camera; I only had 2 Gigs of memory, so I would have to shoot on ‘fine’ grade instead of ‘high’, which would give me more pics but less quality. It was not ideal, but there was nothing I could do about it, not at this time of the morning – I was on my shoot deadline. It’s hard to believe, but I promise you this story does have a happy ending.

I had no option but to shoot a movie take and then duplicate the action for a stills take, as I now had to do both mediums. I ditched the second crane and worked from behind the Sony 700. It was hectic, but I was getting some great footage up until the second last hour of the shoot when suddenly, once again, the chimpanzee attacked the Macaw. In an attempt to escape, the startled bird flew off the platform, forgetting that his wings were clipped and fell onto the studio floor, breaking his neck on impact. As you can imagine, there was pandemonium on the set.



I walked across to sympathize with the young man who had brought in the parrot in response to an ad we had run in a local newspaper. He was visibly in shock, holding his head in his hands. Turns out, he was house sitting for some wealthy people who had gone on vocation and decided to make a couple of bucks on the side when he saw the ad. He called my production team, offering the parrot out for hire at a fee of US$ 1 000.00 for the day – enterprising but no cigar.

The happy ending is that the commercial and the stills turned out exceptionally well.