Bill's Wild Adventures

How To Win An Election in Zimbabwe With One Hand

Jul 4th, 2008 | By Bill | Category: Bill's Wild Adventures

If you think about it there are a lot of things you can do if you only have one arm. You can pick your nose successfully, you can punch someone just as long as they drop and stay down. If they get up you can hail a cab with one hand and get the hell [...]



How to Bath a Dirty Cowboy When You’re Standing Down Wind

Jun 24th, 2008 | By Bill | Category: Bill's Wild Adventures

I woke up in the middle of a gun battle last night, my lounge was filled with screaming and yelping Apache Indians, burning arrows swished above my head and twanged into the furniture around me. I was terrified as I tried to figure out what was happening through the smoke and fire. I got a [...]



Get Yourself Out of Here – Take a Wild Adventure to Mars

May 31st, 2008 | By Bill | Category: Bill's Wild Adventures

I guess about five years ago a whole bunch of people at NASA (short for Never Ask Someone Anything) decided to take a strange looking radio controlled children’s toy they’d invented down to the local school as an experiment to attract, and test the abilities of children suffering from the ‘short attention span’ syndrome common [...]



Bill’s Wild Adventure Phobias

May 28th, 2008 | By Bill | Category: Bill's Wild Adventures

After posting my last blog on Xenophobia I was pretty exhausted and poured myself a drink. I thought it was a good opportunity to chill out and watch the news – that’s when the trouble started.
I was half asleep and found myself channel hopping from one news cast to the next. I saw vague [...]



How to handle Xenophobia without getting Your Hands Dirty

May 23rd, 2008 | By Bill | Category: Bill's Wild Adventures

If the late Shaka, the King of the Zulus could read the international headlines addressing the so called Xenophobic anarchy that is escalating across South Africa, I am pretty sure he would sit up in his grave, scratch his head and say ‘Eish – What a load of bollocks’
Now, for those of you who [...]



The Underground Movement In Johannesburg – The Gautrain

May 22nd, 2008 | By Bill | Category: Bill's Wild Adventures

It was around the year 1900 that a wagon load of unwashed guys carrying picks and shovels arrived in Johannesburg. These were pretty rough guys, killers, who were notorious for raping cattle and stealing woman. I don’t think you need a description of the women that were available in a gold mining town around that [...]



How to Get a Zebra across a Zebra Crossing

May 16th, 2008 | By Bill | Category: Bill's Wild Adventures

Making a television commercial is never easy; the transfer from the script to the moving image is a long, drawn-out journey with frustrations and insecurities locking onto you like refrigerator magnets.
Shooting on sets and film lots cuts a Director’s anxiety by about 50% because of the controlled environment, so with the support of a bunch [...]



Even in Wild Adventures Territory the Oil Price Sucks

May 14th, 2008 | By Bill | Category: Bill's Wild Adventures

As a moviemaker and a wild adventurer, I have a creative perspective on things I see or put my mind to.
Take a look at the old Hollywood epics where most of the characters were typecast with no surprises. John Wayne (if anybody remembers him) could only be John Wayne in any part he played, so [...]



The Origin of Elephant Soup

May 6th, 2008 | By Bill | Category: Bill's Wild Adventures

Making an Elephant soup to most vegetarians and Presbyterians is a horrific thought, until you address the fundamentals and of course, the real issues. Soup (from the Latin, domini, partus, dominus sloppis), was discovered a 1 000 years before elephants were invented. The Roman Emperor of that time, Angostino-Who’s-Your-Daddy Dickus (around 300 000 [...]



How to Train a Rhinoceros

Apr 15th, 2008 | By Bill | Category: Bill's Wild Adventures

A tongue in cheek look at training a rhino.