I’m sure you know plenty people that have a pussy cat as their pet – maybe even more than one.

But I ask you do you know anyone whose pussys are this size?

Would you dare give it a friendly pat on the bum?

This only happens in Africa.

It’s why I adore the place.

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I think I love all animals. They are all part of the world. This could get me into trouble but I also think I love the serpant animal, you know the one that did the tempting…..

Thing is all animals play a part in the eco system. From the tiniest parasite, I believe even they have a place in the world to the mighty elephant are what make this planet so amazing.

Even though Africa appears to have many troubles it is still one of the last frontiers. Elephants roam free. And I hope it stays that way for all eternity. I mean would you want to live in a world that has no more animals? I wouldn’t. I love knowing that there are whales in the ocean and polar bears even though I’ve heard they are having a hard time because of global warming.

Okay so this isn’t about global warming it’s about the most fascinating thing that takes place in Zambia. At Mfuwe Lodge in the South Lungwa National Park to be exact.

When Mfuew Lodge was built nobody thought about the yearly walks the elephants take to get to their favorite snack – wild mangoes.

A herd of 10 elephants comes to eat the fruit which lasts about 4 to 6 weeks.

There’s never been a problem between the elephants and people. The guests are allowed to stand in the lounge to gawk at them behind a barrier.

The herd is led by the mama of the mamas in other word the matriarch lovingly called “Wonky Tusk” by the staff at Mfuwe lodge. Still they are wild and untamed even if they look cuddly and cute in the pictures.

Take a look at the pictures.

All pictures by Mfuwe Lodge Zambia

This is a truly phenomenal experience.

It happens in November, it’s pretty miserable in other parts of the world that time of the year.

Contact me to set up a small group and enjoy this experience with me.

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my time I have seen some pretty outrageous wild life photography.

I’ve done my due diligence sitting with camera & waiting.

But these have to be the ultimate shots.

Hal Brindley was sitting in his car taking Hippo pics when the leopard leaped out the grass and attacked the unsuspecting crocodile.

It’s damn unusual for leopards to go out attacking crocodiles. In fact I’ve never heard of it before. But there you go. Shit happens as they say.

These pictures are By Hal Brindley and belong to the Telegraph

Get the details at the Telegraph

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If you’ve ever traveled through Mozambique you will know exactly what I feel.
Miles of white beaches unroll like a giant carpet ahead of our bus as we travel north through the tropical Inhambane province across the most beautiful part of the world.
I have made the trip to Vilanculos on many of our African Wild Adventures and it never fails to paralyze my senses with its overpowering beauty. 700 kms north of Maputo the landscape whips by and I try to imagine myself in a more stunning part of the globe and I can’t. I am so engrossed with the beauty that surrounds me my digital Nikon is lying dormant on the seat next to me. Anyone who’s been here will confirm that to capture an award winning picture in Mozambique, all you have to do is point a camera and fire.

The mood in the bus is one of excited exhaustion as our adventurers’ chill out in the air conditioned bubble sheltered from the unforgiving tropical humidity. I have been on many romantic adventures along the coast, but for some strange reason every trip feels like my first. Whenever I visit, my love affair with Mozambique starts all over again. My lovely Lady is lounging two rows ahead of me, her safari hat and Oakley shades covering her face, she is dozing, her head resting against the window.

It is fascinating how you observe someone that you’ve known and loved for a long time and suddenly on this remote beach road in the middle of paradise you are suddenly thrown into an erotic fantasy – maybe it’s a man thing, the thought of stopping the bus and making love to her was very appealing to me, but not possible, although I’m sure our fellow adventurers would either be appalled or fascinated by the whacky sight. I had to change the images that were flashing through my brain because I was beginning to sweat and had a tingling sensation running through my veins aided by the constant vibration of the bus. I looked at my lady and wondered if the same vibration was affecting her at all…

My fantasy was interrupted abruptly as we navigated a bend in the road stopping at Vilanculos Village. Just 30 kilometers across the Mozambique Channel, lying lazily in the African sun are the four Islands of the Bazaruto Archipelago, almost directly opposite the village where we stopped to freshen up. The wild adventure we planned was to scuba dive early the next morning, so at the lodge we booked into our bungalows and gathered on the beach later for a casual but exotic dinner. After a Mozambican king prawn feast around a beach fire and a great bottle of Meerlust Rubicon, the adventurers retired to their respective bungalows. There was a spectacular full moon hovering above the beach as my lady and I changed into our bathing trunks, grabbed towels and headed around a bend on the beach to a sheltered cove.

Seconds later we dropped out of our swim gear and dived naked into the warm Indian Ocean. The salty taste of her breasts under the moonlight was incredibly erotic for both of us and we were both extremely aroused. I was lying naked on top of her and we were about make love when I started to feel millions of tiny pin pricks over my naked back. She was beyond caring as she tried to get me inside her but the stinging became worse – something was biting me and it was becoming more intense and painful. I felt like the American fleet at Pearl Harbour.

Wave after wave of tiny Japanese bombers were pounding my back, my legs, my ass and then finally the back of my testicles. Mozambican Mosquitoes are not in any tourist brochure but come with the package for any adventurer who is crazy enough to get naked and make love on the beach. I rolled off my lady, much to her disdain and ran down into the sea with the Japanese Navy in hot pursuit. I heard Admiral Isoroku Yamamoto warning his troops ‘Be velly careful he has new G5 canon between leg’. I was tossed my towel by my lady, who at this stage was in hysterics at the sight of my erection in the Mozambique Channel. ‘It must be submaline – haa so’ echoed the Admiral.

You have to understand that the Japanese Navy is not easy to lose even when you climb into your bungalow bed. Mosquito nets can be a nightmare if you’ve never navigated one before. It was now about 1.30am and we had a very early call but we were still incredibly excited, so we figured it was time to get back to our unfinished business. We were naked again. The big problem with passionate love making under a net is, once you are beyond the point of no return, both of you usually have you’re your legs in very strange positions no matter what Karma Sutra position you have chosen. In the throes of erotic passion when you’re groaning and yodeling like the Von Trapp family you can be guaranteed that not all of your body is protected by the net and is vulnerable to an attack.

I am a big guy (I’m not referring to the G5) and my lady and I have wonderful sex whenever we can, but we are both convinced that the Mosquito net was invented by some Dane and his frigid wife living in Alaska, who’ve never got laid in their entire lives. I can see Swen Dortmast a Swedish engineer: ‘Dis mosquito net invention vill definitely going to katch on ya – look de polar bears are staying avey’.

Damn – the minute your leg or any other part of your anatomy protrudes from under the net, the Mozambican air force (trained by the Japanese) attack. After trying for what seemed hours to reach an orgasm the entire net collapsed on top of us and we eventually decided to give up and spray our bodies with Mosquito repellent – defeated by a minuscule insect, we decided to try again another day.

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You have to admit there are so many hang-ups about having great sex. For women so many things come into play – your upbringing, religious beliefs, the ex-husband, the children, what will people think, what if someone saw us, we’re committing a sin – all these and a whole stack more interfere with keeping the sparkle going in a relationship. This also has a lot to do with age and experience.

Let’s get the age thing out of the way first. Sex is really cool when you’re 18, you spend 24/7 on MixIt, sending messages back and forth; it’s cyber foreplay. Then finally a date is set and you meet. The guy prepares himself for the date by having a bath (the first in 10 days), an hour greasing and spiking the hair, and dropping the jeans to just above the knees. He is now ready. He does a check of his condoms and waddles off to the date looking a lot like a parrot with a hemorrhoid attack.

Then the ‘intimacy’ begins. They meet at a club where nobody speaks. After 8 hours of gyrating, downing shooters without any conversation, they leave together if they haven’t found anyone else to go with in the meantime. They disappear into the night on their voyage of discovery. How do they feel about each other? Who the hell cares.

On the way to the car park they start embracing and exploring each others bodies; he bends her backwards against the alleyway wall, his shaking hands explore her quivering body, he kisses her neck, she responds, he is overcome with an animal passion that drives him uncontrollably. He penetrates her. She gasps for breath with a muffled scream as he pins her trembling body against the wall. Before you know it’s over, which is known to happen when you’re 18.

Exhausted, they both slide down the wall. Was there time to use a condom – who knows? And guess what? The chances are he doesn’t even know her real name.

Now, you might be condemning these two youngsters, but the one thing you have to admit is – it was free, irresponsible and uncomplicated – it was sharing an intimate moment regardless of consequence. ‘Matilda, did you just hear what he said?’ ‘Harriet get the girls together, we ought to do something!’ Oh boy I can just see some of you ladies with pens, cardboard and tape preparing the banners for tomorrow’s protest march. You’re gathering in your hundreds, organizing a lynch party in my honour.

Let’s get real here, you may not approve of our young couple on spiritual, religious, or social grounds, you may also not approve of the alleyway as the romantic setting, but maybe, just maybe, some of you felt, a small twinge of YES run through your body – a forbidden arousal, but nevertheless an arousal. I would prefer to call it a natural acceptance of a situation that without intellectual analysis, felt really good to our two young people.

The human race out there experiences a multitude of hang-ups, a large percentage being of a sexual nature. People are either having good sex, bad sex, or no sex. Don’t get me wrong here, I’m not attempting to sound like Dr Phil – having sex is one thing but having boring sex is the absolute pits, so if you’re a lifetime member of the ‘roll-on-roll-off’ club – the only person you have to blame is yourself –and perhaps you’re partner.

Take our young alleyway lovers, they were swept away by the moment, the burning excitement of exploiting (no typo) each others’ bodies at that moment – it is after midnight and they just happen to be getting it off in an alleyway where at any moment they could be discovered – did they care? No way, it was horny and added to the fun. Ask yourself when last you did something as daring as that…

Would your life partner buy into a situation like that it if the moment was right?

Let’s face it, wild sex in a whacky place can be a huge turn-on for consenting couples and you will be surprised what it can do for your relationship. I am not suggesting that you start humping in your local 711 or chase each other naked down 5th Ave, just get a little creative – live out a couple of fantasies but keep it legal. Two people thinking along the same lines can be dynamite.

Oh, by the way, with age comes experience – it will be much more beneficial to your relationship if you are able to get whacky with your life partner and not some one-night-stand – chasing a hooker around the harbour at 1.00am with a six pack of Buds – is not going to do it. This will only cause guilt, a broken relationship, a sprained ankle and let’s not forget HIV/AIDS. Rather invest in spicing up your love life at home; then you will not need to seek excitement elsewhere.

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